Tag Archives: Pinky are you pondering?

behold! (when i say look, i mean *look*)

13 Mar

Have you ever tried simply to behold Christ?

I’m not talking about a prayer of thankfulness. I’m not talking about a prayer on someone else’s behalf. I’m not even talking about a prayer in which you praise Christ for all his many amazing qualities.

Nor am I talking about reading scripture and meditating on it. Nor do I even mean reading inspirational/devotional literature and pondering how to apply it.

What I’m talking about is taking a few moments simply to be with Jesus and behold the magnificent Christ that he is.

Over the last few weeks, Milt has challenged our group to spend the first five waking minutes of our day in the simple beholding of our Lord. Before we get up or switch on the light, we’re to take five minutes — not for prayer! but for beholding Christ, the Lamb of God. Nothing more, nothing less.

When a New Testament writer uses the word “behold,” it means more than just “pay attention” or “hey, look over here.” A few years back, my Greek teacher told our class that “behold” is the equivalent of shining a bright spotlight on something and blacking out everything else. He left me with the image of someone grabbing me by the scruff of the neck, propelling me toward The Something in question, and shoving my face up to it until The Something is the only thing I can focus on.

The Something, ladies and gents, is supposed to be Christ.

So. Beholding. First five waking minutes of every day.

Slightly easier typed than done.

I feel particularly challenged in this because of pregnancy. Yay for constricted bladder and frequent (but no longer constant, halle-LEW-jer) nausea. The first thing I have to do upon waking is run for the bathroom. It can’t wait five minutes, otherwise the hydraulic pressure in the abdominal region will trigger nausea. (Not to mention that there’s no way I can do any beholding of Christ when all I can think of is my full bladder.)

Secondly, when I first wake up, I have to eat. If I don’t eat, the gagging starts. Huzzah.

As you might imagine, chowing down on string cheese in the dark is not conducive to beholding Christ with any sort of focus.

Once I get these physical necessities out of the way, I can finally settle into focusing on The Something. My body’s (and baby’s) needs are temporarily sated; beholding should now be no problem, right?

Ha.

To show you how not-easy this is, I’m going to give you a run-down of the thoughts that trickled through my mind the first three days I tried to do this. Feel free to laugh. I’ve been rolling my eyes at myself for a week now.

Beholding: Day One

Behold…
Behold Christ, the Lamb of God…
…Behold! The Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world.
…John the Immerser said that about Jesus…
…At Jesus’s immersion, God called him “beloved Son…”
…hot, gooey chocolate brownies straight from the oven–

*

Beholding: Day Two

Behold…
Behold Christ, the Lamb of God…
…takes away the sins of the world…
…Lamb of God…
…sleepy…
…Lamb of G…
…zzzzz….

Beholding: Day Three

Behold…
Behold Christ, the Lamb of God…
“Lamb” really does embody so much of what he is…
…innocence, newness, vulnerability, gentleness…
…but with so much unimaginable power in his blood…
Crap, I’m still hungry.

To be honest, Day Three is the most “success” I’ve had in this so far. I’d say that “everything in the universe aligns against me!” the moment I start trying to behold him — except that it’s not everything in the universe! All it takes to distract me from Christ is a single demand of my body or a single stray thought floating at the edge of my consciousness. And, like a distractable kitten, I’m off chasing whatever it is and forgetting everything I was about not ten seconds before.

I’m a writer. I’m quite used to focusing on one thing for a significant period of time.

Dang it, my attention span is supposed to be better than this!

That was a little tongue-in-cheek. I’m not truly that frustrated. ; )

This beholding thing? It’s new. And the good news is that my Lord deals in newness. He’ll fill me up in this, the same way he fills me up in anything and everything else I need. Behold, he is making everything new.

Even me.

Advertisements

we are everywhere in chains

21 Nov

Back when I was a fulltime missionary (2001-2007) and until January of this year, I kept a blog called thegermanygirl: ruminations.

The reasons I haven’t posted on that blog in nearly a year are myriad, but suffice it to say that because of my many other endeavors, I simply haven’t had time to ruminate anything for the “old” blog.

But.

When I checked my email this morning, I found a notification of a new comment on one of my thegermanygirl posts. The comment and my reply to it are worth sharing here:

“Tony” writes:

I see from your Profile that you believe that “Jesus sacrificed himself for the eternal freedom of humanity”.

Most people agree with Jean-Jacques Rousseau: “Man was born free, and he is everywhere in chains”: this must mean that the sacrifice was in vain.

I guess you must have read him, so presumably your observation of the world differs from Rousseau’s. Or perhaps two thousand years has not been enough, and we must wait longer for our eternal freedom.

I replied:

You might think it strange enough, but I agree with Rousseau (whom I have, indeed, read). I’ve never belonged to that segment of the Christian population that believes in original sin; I have never believed that any of us is born tainted. We are truly born free in every sense of the word. We are born innocent, untainted, fresh, new.

But I believe we put ourselves in chains as we carry on our lives and make our choices. We say and do things that cause each other pain, and each word or action that causes pain is just another chain we clamp around our own wrists. There is not a single one of us who has not caused harm to another.

We are “everywhere in chains” because we lock ourselves away from each other and lock ourselves away from the one power in the universe that can break down all the doors and unlock all the chains.

The sacrifice that Jesus made was not in vain, because the freedom he offers is available to anyone who wants it. The crux of the matter is that he can’t give freedom to those who don’t want it. He won’t force his freedom on anyone. Each of us will spend eternity exactly the way we want to. And that’s the most liberating part of the whole deal.

____________________________

I hope my response to Tony will challenge him to think further on Christ instead of pushing him away. It’s so difficult to know how my typed words will come across to someone who lives on the other side of the world (I checked his Blogger profile). Communicating tone is nigh on impossible in blog comment format! Ugh. And we’re missing every nuance of body language, which tells so much more than words.

Still, I hope that I said what Christ would want me to say and in the way he would want me to say it. That’s pretty much all I can do.

the first pondering

18 Oct

So, I have lots of thoughts about life, the universe, and everything. A lot of these thoughts have undergone some crazy changes over the past few years. A lot of this insanity these new thoughts concern my core beliefs on God, church, purpose, blah de blah. You know — just the kind of ponderings humanity has been pondering since we had our first cranial spark of pondering.

I thought it might help my mental overload if I record some of my ponderings here. The first few will be short, because it’s 1 o’clock in the morning, and I’m tired.

So.

This is the first pondering (I feel like the jackdaw asking if it made the first joke):

There’s nothing so endearing or encouraging as observing a Creation–be it plant, animal, or human–doing exactly what it was created to do.